The Great Persecution and its Consequences - Henry Chadwick

The Diocletianic Persecution lasted from AD 303 - 313. In a series of edicts released between AD 303 and 304, Diocletian ordered the destruction of all Christian churches, the confiscation of all Bibles, liturgical books, and sacred vessels, forbade the gathering of Christians to worship, ordered the arrest of all clergy, and made refusal to sacrifice to the pagan gods punishable by death.

The worst legacy of the persecution was once again schism. As in modern times the Christians differed among themselves about the point at which resistance to the State must be absolute. In the East sacrifice was regarded as apostasy, not the surrender of sacred books and church plate. But in the West opinion was divided, passion ran high, and in consequence, although persecution was briefer and left most western provinces unaffected, the scars were more serious than in the East.

...in Numidia especially, the surrender of the scriptures or indeed of any books which the police were ready to accept as such (one bishop handed in medical treatises) was regarded as apostasy. To think otherwise was to derogate from the glory of those who had died rather than surrender, since it implied that they had been overdoing it [emphasis mine].

Have a contemplative first week of Lent (Clean Week!), ladies and gents.

Life of the Deified Augustus - Suetonius

In studying for my Roman history final (less than 24 hours from now) I reread Suetonius' account of Augustus, and fell in love with the man all over again. Here's why.

"Others criticize his words and actions, claiming that when the ships were lost in the storm he had cried out that he would conquer even against the will of Neptune and that the next time the circus games were held, he had Neptune's image removed from the festival procession."

Arrogance is sexy, and anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar or a fool. Also, Neptune never really got him back... Augustus 1, Gods 0.

"For he used to compare those who sought a minimal gain at no small risk to someone going fishing with a golden hook, when no catch could bring a profit equal to the loss if the hook were gone."

Translation of genius into simple words. Sounds like someone else I love.

"As for the city itself, which was not decked out in a manner fitting such a great empire... he so improved it that it was with justification that he boasted he had found it a city of brick and left it a city of marble."

Always had a soft spot for effective reformers arising from hopeless eras of suck.

"...he would rather endure some loss of revenue than that the honor of Roman citizenship be made commonplace."

oh-em-gee high citizenship theory. (Note: forward that memo to Caracalla.)

"He sought, too, to revive the ancient manner of dress and once, when he saw at a public meeting a crowd of people dressed in dark clothes, he grew angry and cried out: 'Behold the Romans, lords of the world, the toga'd race!'"

Policy enforcement through snark... I like.

"In sealing official documents, reports and letters, he first used a sphinx, then an image of Alexander the Great, and finally one of himself..."

I reiterate: arrogance is sexy, especially when merited. Subordination of Alexander the Great? May as well besmirch Charles Garland, or Alexander Nevsky, or someone equally influential and bad ass.

"He always shrank from the title 'Master' as an insult and a reproach."

Principate vs dominate, 101. Augustus shows 'em how it's done (forward memo to Diocletian).

"Yet he bore the deaths of his loved ones more readily than their disgrace."

Was ever there a better Roman? Like, really?

"Whenever anyone referred to [Agrippa] or one of the Julias he used to groan and even exclaim: 'Oh, that I had never married and died without children!' The only terms he used for them were his three sores or his three cancers."

No, no there wasn't.

"Not even his friends deny that he committed adultery, suggesting by way of excuse that his motive was not lust but policy, as he sought to find out the plans of his opponents more easily through each man's wife."

Once again, Augustus pioneers a timeless and effective political tactic.

"Mark Antony objected... that he had in front of her husband led the wife of a man of consular rank from the dining-room off into his bedroom, later returning her to the party with burning ears and disheveled hair..."

Balls and pimpery.

"He cultivated an elegant and restrained manner of speaking which avoided the vanity of an artificial style of arrangement, as well as the 'rank odor', as he termed it, 'of far-fetched vocabulary'..."

Crap. Two of my heroes come in conflict.

"When he first began to speak, he ordered some frogs to be silent who happened to be croaking in his grandfather's villa and they say that from that time no frog croaked there."

I'd just like to say here that I love cultures of mythology and am totally okay with attributing ridiculous, implausible stories to those excessively admired and reviled. Respek, yo.

Reluctant Acceptance by Julian of Title of Augustus - Ammianus Marcellinus

"To confer further honor on [the soldiers] at their departure on so long a journey [Julian] invited their leading men to dinner... After this liberal entertainment two sad thoughts oppressed them as they went away; through the unkindness of fortune they were losing not only their native land but a beneficent ruler. With these sorrowful feelings they returned to their quarters."

Summary: These soldiers left their homes to fight for Julian on the express condition that they never have to go beyond the Alps. Emperor Constantius, however, doesn't give a shit, and orders them to be sent there anyway. Julian throws them a going away party to soften the blow.

"But at nightfall they broke out into open revolt; they gave way to the feelings roused in each of them to a different degree by this unexpected event, took up arms, and rushed to the palace with a tremendous uproar."

Oh snap. This must be where they kill Julian.

"They surrounded it so that no one could escape, and saluted Julian as Augustus with terrifying shouts, urgently demanding that he come out to them."

Yeah, kill that oppressive bastard!... Or, uh, hail him as Augustus and make him Emperor. Always a good option.

"Julian, however, resisted one and all firmly and resolutely. At one moment he showed displeasure, at the next he stretched out his arms in passionate entreaty, begging them not to spoil so many happy victories by behaving dishonourably or to let rashness and bad judgment give rise to civil war."

You're Caesar of Rome, a giant angry riot of soldiers storms your palace in the middle of the night, and you talk to them like a kindergarten teacher begging toddlers to stop throwing the graham crackers. You're a better man than I, dear Julian.

"In spite of this appeal the shouting continued on all sides, and finding it impossible to resist the uniform pressure of this loud uproar, with which some abuse was mingled, the Caesar was obliged to give way. He was placed on an infantry shield, raised aloft, and proclaimed Augustus without a dissentient voice."

Just so we're clear- Julian is now the highest ranking man in the entirety of the Roman Empire... and got there because he was completely at the mercy of an impassioned mob. Leadership as slavery indeed.

"Then he was told to produce a diadem, and when he said that he had never had one they asked for a necklace or a head ornament of his wife's. When he protested that to wear a female trinket would be an inauspicious beginning, they searched about for a horse-trapping to crown him with..."

Wow.

"This too he rejected as unbecoming, and finally a man called Maurus... took off his standard-bearer's collar and boldly placed it on Julian's head. Julian, finding that there was no way out and perceiving that continued resistance would place him in instant danger, promised each man five gold pieces and a pound of silver."

Oh, come on, Julian, seriously? What happened to Romans being manly?

But wait, the soap opera continues:

"Terrified by the change which had occurred he withdrew into seclusion, where he remained until one of the decurions of the palace, an important official, hastened to the camp of the Petulantes and Celts shouting at the top of his voice that a shameful crime had been committed and that the man whom they had proclaimed Augustus on the previous day had been secretly put to death."

It's like an episode of I Love Lucy!

"At this news the troops... rushed in the disorderly way which is natural in emergency to occupy the palace...When they were asked what had led to this sudden foolish commotion there was a long silence... they would not disperse till they had been admitted to his council chamber and had seen him in all the splendour of his imperial robes."

Splendour. Right.

The Martyrdom of Saints Perpetua and Felicitas

"For these too will one day become ancient and needful for the ages to come, even though in our own day they may enjoy less prestige because of the prior claim of antiquity."

This was written around AD 203, roughly.

"Thus no one of weak or superficial faith may think that supernatural grace was present only among men of ancient times, either in the grace of martyrdom or of visions, for God always achieves what he promises, as a witness to the non-believer and a blessing to the faithful."

Trads beware.

"She had been pregnant when she was arrested, and was now in her eighth month. As the day of the spectacle drew near she was very distressed that her martyrdom would be postponed because of her pregnancy; for it is against the law for women with child to be executed. ... And so, two days before the contest, they [the Christians in prison with her] poured forth a prayer to the Lord in one torrent of common grief. And immediately after their prayer the birth pains came upon her. ... And she gave birth to a girl."

Is that the right attitude to have towards martyrdom? Or motherhood? Or anything?

"For whenever they would discuss among themselves their desire for martyrdom, Saturninus indeed insisted that he wanted to be exposed to all the different beasts, that his crown might be all the more glorious."

Can a Catholic please explain this to me? This seems fundamentally wrong, or at least, like... impious.

"For the young women, however, the Devil had prepared a mad heifer. This was an unusual animal, but it was chosen that their sex might be matched with that of the beast. So they were stripped naked, placed in nets and thus brought out into the arena. Even the crowd was horrified when they saw that one was a delicate young girl and teh other was a woman fresh from childbirth with the milk still dripping from her breasts. And so they were brought back again and dressed in unbelted tunics."

What were they thinking, sending them to face the beast without their tunics! Gosh, how uncultured.

"First the heifer tossed Perpetua and she fell on her back. Then sitting up she pulled down the tunic that was ripped along the side so that it covered her thighs, thinking more of her modesty than of her pain. Next she asked for a pin to fasten her untidy hair: for it was not right that a martyr should die with her hair in disorder, lest she might seem to be mourning in her hour of triumph."

This is starting to sound like something out of a Mel Brooks movie.

The Annals of Tacitus

"In the meantime, Nero recollected that Epicharis was in custody on the information of Volusius Proculus; and, assuming that female flesh and blood must be unequal to the pain, he ordered her to be racked. But neither the lash nor fire, not yet the anger of the torturers, who redoubled their efforts rather than be braved by a woman, broke down her denial of the allegations."

Is a "you go girl" inappropriate here?

"Thus the first day of torment had been defied. On the next, as she was being dragged back in a chair to a repetition of the agony- her dislocated limbs were unable to support her- she fastened the breast-band (which she had stripped from her bosom) in a sort of noose to the canopy of the chair, thrust her neck into it, and, throwing the weight of her body into the effort, squeezed out such feeble breath as remained to her."

How unladylike.

"An emancipated slave and a woman, by shielding, under this dire coercion, men unconnected with her and all but unknown, she had set an example which shone the brighter at a time when persons freeborn and male, Roman knights and senators, untouched by the torture, were betraying each his nearest and dearest."

Well shit, if even Roman men were pussies, what hope is there of me finding a real man here at Yale?

"Paulina replied by assuring him that she too had made death her choice, and she demanded her part in the executioner's stroke. Seneca, not wishing to stand in the way of her glory, and influenced also by his affection, that he might not leave the woman who enjoyed his whole-hearted love exposed to outrage, now said: 'I had shown you the mitigations of life, you prefer the distinction of death: I shall not grudge your setting that example. May the courage of this brave ending be divided equally between us both, but may more of fame attend your own departure!'"

Now if that isn't just the most romantic thing I've ever heard. Take note, gentlemen.

"Before long, the evidence of the same group destroyed the tribune Subrius Flavius. At first he sought to make unlikeness of character a ground of defence: a man of the sword, like himself, would never have shared so desperate an enterprise with unarmed effeminates. Then, as he was pressed more closely, he embraced the glory of confession."

So, he disses his fellow conspirators, admits he hangs out with pansies, and still ends up dead. Well done, Flavius.

"Questioned by Nero as to the motives which had led him so far as to forget his military oath: 'I hated you,' he answered, 'and yet there was not a man in the army truer to you, as long as you deserved to be loved. I began to hate you when you turned into the murderer of your mother and wife- a chariot-driver, an actor, a fire-raiser.'"

Woah... who knew the Chairman of the Party of the Right was a Roman soldier in a past life?

Life of Vitellius - Suetonius

"He was a man of integrity and industry but quite notorious for his love of a freedwoman. He would even mix her saliva with honey and rub this into his throat and jaws as a remedy, not secretly or occasionally but quite publicly and every day."

Lucius Vitellius, you old rascal you. No wonder your son was such a classy guy.

"His boyhood and earliest youth he spent on Capri among the favourites of Tiberius- ever after he was branded with the nickname 'tight-bum' and it was thought that it was his physical charms which were the basis and reason for his father's rise."

And in what way could a Roman son better honor his father? You go, Aulus Vitellius.

"And when he arrived at the fields in which the fighting had taken place and some of those with him expressed their horror at the stench of the corpses, he made so bold as to offer them reassurance with the following repulsive comment: 'The smell of a dead enemy is excellent- and even better in civil war.'"

Weren't you just made emperor like five minutes ago? Rejoicing at the sight of dead Romans might not be the best way to stabilize your support, amice.

"Above all, however, he was addicted to luxury and to cruelty, always having at least three feasts, sometimes four in a day- breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a drinking party- and easily finding capacity for it all through regular vomiting.

Clearly a cry for help! If only he'd been able to write in to PostSecret.

"As for the money lenders... he spared scarcely any... It was one of these whom he committed to punishment, just as the man had come to pay his respects, then called him back. Everyone was praising this act of mercy, when he gave orders that the execution should take place in his presence, for he 'wanted his eyes to have a feast'."

Bitch with a capital B.

"When he found that it was quite deserted and those who were with him were slipping away, he put on a belt full of gold coins and took refuge in the porter's lodge, having chained up a dog at the entrance and blocked the door with a bed and mattress."

At least he went out with dignity... oh, wait...

"...with his hands tied behind his back, a noose around his neck, and his clothes torn, he was dragged half-naked into the Forum and, amid gross abuse, physical and verbal, along the whole length of the Sacred Way, his head pulled back by the hair, in the way of condemned criminals, and even his chin held up with the point of a sword, so that he should let his face be seen and not lower it. Some people threw dung and filth, calling him an arsonist and a glutton. Some of the common people even criticized his bodily defects, for he was unusually tall, his face was generally very red because of his drinking, and his belly distended. ... Finally, he was butchered on the Gemonian steps with the smallest incisions and, when he was dead, he was dragged from there with a hook to the Tiber."

A noble end to a noble reign. By the way, this is a whole eight months after he was first declared Emperor.